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  • D.J. McKay

Love as a Feeling and a State of Being

Hello, all!

Here's a little snippet from a conversation I had with someone recently that I found to be interesting. Perhaps you will, too.

In peace,


My correspondent said:

You had mentioned in your last email to just enjoy the love and keep bringing myself to the moment and out of conditioned mind over and over again, even in the midst of love. You said if I’m present with the love I’ll enjoy it even more. I actually thought about that and yesterday we were all talking and laughing and I just took a step back and felt my feelings inside and said to myself this is love- love for each other, love for me, love for them. The process of love. No inside or outside. The feelings were all in my heart. Love is just a feeling.

My reply:

Love is just a feeling!!!! So true. And like every feeling it arises and passes away. It doesn't mean anything when the love is there, and it doesn't mean anything when the love is not there. Love is just the natural experience of connection with others. Nothing to cling to in it. It's not the right feeling to have, or anything like that. It just is what it is. No need to think about it, no need to try and make it happen or try to keep it when it is happening. Best, I think, to just enjoy it while it's there, and at the same time to let go of it while it's there, and to enjoy or at least to fully experience whatever is there when the love is absent. Best to have a free relationship with love, in other words, instead of a dependent relationship.

Of course, there is another, deeper sort of love that is not a feeling at all--that is a state of being. It might be interesting for you to look at the difference between the two: between the sort of love that is temporary, feeling-based, and dependent upon circumstances, and the sort of love that lasts, that is grounded in being, and independent of circumstances. Let me know what you see!!!